Instead of the normal pleasantries of how awful the flight had been we were treated to a 2 hour monologue about the hitherto unknown weather situation in Britain. Apparently St. Helens has been snowed back into the stone age and a blanket of the white stuff is causing chaos everywhere, especially London, where all the news comes from in England.
If anyone's forgotten what snow looks like, here's a snap the old fella took of their avenue just before he went out looking for my mother who'd gone to Marks and Spencer to take a blouse back.
Anyway, the old-dear-in-law brought a packet of barley to Ibiza from the old country - because you can't get it here. She could equally have brought lightbulbs, firelighters, oregano, cat litter, antiseptic kitchen wipes and a myriad other things that you also can't get here.
Luckily for us, she's been dispensing useful advice courtesy of her position as Emeritus Professor of Hindsight and Malapropisms at the St. Helens Institute of Technology (SHIT). You should've had a waiter's dummy installed to bring firewood up from the cellar she helpfully opined seeing me hobbling up the stairs with a basket full of logs.
Stand by for more of this and some pretty useful gossip - Alex the Yorkshire welder has got the Showman's Bar in Cala de Bou, and he's going to open in winter! - as and when we get her twitter stream.
