Ibiza Water

If Howlin' Wolf had lived in Ibiza he'd never have written the classic Blues song 'I asked for water, she gave me gasoline.'

I've just been to fill up with both liquids and 56 litres of water cost €3 whilst 41 litres of gas was €46! A bit of a discrepancy eh?

The reason that petrol cost so much more here is that it makes better tea.

Observational Comedy II

More pathos from Ibiza

Have you ever noticed when you've just had a knee operation and you can't walk, sit down and are sofa bound, your mother-in-law invites herself round to catch up on the last 4 episodes of Dancing on Ice and Popstar to Operastar? What's that all about?

Have you ever noticed that no matter which show you're watching, the panel of judges always has a nasty one? What's that all about?

That's Jason Gardiner, the angry one on Skating on Ice. I'd be angry too if I looked like that. Jason's claim to fame (apart from his anger mismanagement) is that he is Sir Elton John's choreographer.

Imagine how difficult that must be for Jason

"Come on S'relton, you great puff, sit here and look to the right when you get to a sad bit in your crappy songs."

I Don't Want to go to Rehab (Ibiza mix)

No, no,no!

Don't worry, I'm not giving up ale, but I've started my rehabilitation programme for my knee.

The reason I don't want to go has no connection with the muscle wrenching, bone crunching, heart pounding, lung bursting, tongue twisting exercises I have to do for 2 hours every day. No, that's easy and painless in comparison to listening to the two hours of top 40 Latino sounds playing constantly on the giant telly in the gym.

Here's Rosario with Cuentame Que te Paso


Anyone else think she's a bloke?