Wednesday 28 November 2007

We're S-H-O-PP-I-N-G.

Those of you living in the civilised west or most other non-medieval societies will be used to buying pretty much what you want when you want. You're all aware of my rants regarding non-availability of basic commodities in our big supermarkets (my recent trip to Soller Syp uncovered similar deficiencies - the vegetable section at 1.30 pm consisted of a tomato!) but do you know about shop opening times in Ibiza?


Well, other than Saturday mornings, they're the same as work times. So when you go to work in a morning, the shops open. When you finish for lunch, they close. Ditto the afternoon session. So when do you buy? Why, Saturday morning, when you have a chink of light in the window of opportunity until 1.30, when everything closes until Monday.


Whatever you do, don't hang a 'back in 10 minutes' sign on your office door and dash out at breakneck speed during your coffee break to make a vital purchase because you'll find an identical sign adorning the locked shop door!


Christ alone knows how the shops make any money at all. My own theory is that they are merely a gigantic money laundering operation for the Ibicenco Mafia's drug dealing operations.


The Pacha Cocaine Mountain (allegedly)



Our extremely efficient Syp supermarkets have made an effort to make life easier for us by introducing a delivery service. And guess what? They only deliver when you're at work - the four hour lunch period when you just could be at home to receive your order is when the delivery boy is also at home having his lunch.

Even better, they've now introduced an order preparation service. You let them know what you want and they shop for you. I can see you all now imagining me sitting at home, ticking boxes on my laptop - 1 tomato, some oregano, oh and some charcoal please - as my order speeds through cyber space to Syp HQ.

Unhappily you're wrong, what happens is I have to get a special order form from the supermarket, fill it in in black ink and then drive down there and hand it in. Please don't let them all be on a coffee break when I arrive!

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